Laura

Laura

Thursday, July 15, 2010

July 15, 2010

One week old today and already my little girl has been through open heart surgery and a trip to the cath lab. This week has probably been the longest week of my life, without a doubt. IT is amazing how one's life could change so much in just a week. In one week, I experienced the labor and delivery process (and the beauty of an epidural), I experienced the miracle of life and hearing my baby cry for the first time, and unfortunately, I had to experience my child being sick, her first surgery. It all is definitely a lot to go through, but there are also a lot of stuff that I have not yet experienced this past week, that most new mothers experience in their child's first week of life. I have not yet held my baby in my arms or fed her, her bottle or picked her up and comforted her when she cried or gave her, her first bath or dressed her in her first dress. A lot of stuff I have not done yet, and with all of the down time I have when I sit by her bedside in the CICU all day and everyday, I Imagine me doing these things; kissing her lips, holding her and rocking her to sleep, talking to her and watching her respond, looking into her eyes, etc. But, I know, that ith her strength and all of the support she has, one of these days, I will be able to make all of those visions come true. The hardest part, has to be just sitting by your child's bedside, not being able to pick her up and hold her and comfort her.

So, What has happened since the surgery?

The repair of the coarctation of the aorta went excellent. Laura's feet have had good color and her heart is working well. However; for the past couple of days, Laura has continued to have many ups and downs in her oxygen levels. Every time Laura's oxygen levels will drop, the respiratory therapist would increase and or change the settings on the ventilator. Then Laura will be stable for a while and then randomly de-sat again. So basically, the respiratory therapist and cardiologist have been working together to try and figure out what is going on with Laura's lungs and how can they treat it.

Tuesday morning when I came in, Laura was on a machine called an oscillator. Her cardiologist for the day pulled me aside and in a very serious voice, explained to me that Laura had a very rough night and that she had a "life threatening" event during the overnight, in which her oxygen levels had dropped and they could not get her stabilized. The doctor also told me that Laura's lung problem was a "very big deal" because they did not know exactly what was causing it. The function of the oscillator is to take over the ventilator's position, but delivers oxygen in a way less harmful to her lungs, seeming as she is on very high settings for the ventilator. Laura had also been put back on high levels of the nitrous oxide. The oscillator is a tough machine to look at, when in action. The set up is the same as a vent, with a breathing tube and all of that stuff, but the way it works, the machine shakes and vibrates, so Laura's body kind of like pulsates and shakes while she is on it. Since then, Laura has been on the oscillator.

Today was a really good day compared to the ones she has been has. For most of the day, Laura stayed stable with very few de-sats. Then in the afternoon, Laura was taken to the cath lab, which was nerve-wrecking because as the cardiologist explained it, for most people, death is a very small risk, but for someone so sick and so small, the risk of some thing going wrong is a lot greater. About 2.5 hours later, Laura returned from the lab and her cardiologist chatted with me. Dr. Marshall, Laura's primary cardiologist, told me that Laura tolerated the procedure very well with no major events. Then, DR. Marshall explained that Laura's vessels in her lungs do not look not, but for the most part are premature. She continued on to say the way of treating the abnormal vessels are the same way immature vessels are treated: time. I was beyond relieved to hear that her lung problem will get better, it will just take a day a time. The downside, Laura will have to spend months in the hospital and a while on the vent. Day by day, she may be getting a little bit better, but in the long wrong, it will all pay off when she is nice and healthy.

For the remainder of the night, well until I left at 10:00, Laura's oxygen levels held off at good levels and had no de-sats, and hopefully stays that way. And as for tomorrow, tomorrow is another day and anther day closer to recovery!

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